oh-we-should-have-told-you

roaaaar … sharing my 8/8 lions gate experience.

for the past couple of weeks the idea of a session with eric raines of unleashing natural humanity has been floating around in my awareness.

on aug 5 i opened my computer to see a post from eric that he had a cancellation in 3 days time thus 1 spot was available. it took me about 2 minutes to claim the spot for myself. 3 days from aug 5 was aug 8 !!!! and what a powerful session it turned out to be.

one BIGGIE during the session was eric said my yin energy was being drained off. not being allowed to complete its circuit.

said i have huge nurturing energy abilities which was meant to nurture the planet but was being drained off so i couldn’t do so.

so he closed up the hole where the energy was draining, sealed the opening and got my energy circulating properly.

then he had me hold my hands out in front of me and “enclose the earth” and imagine a ring of doors or gates around the earth and send my energy to them.

i saw the ring of double doors BURST OPEN.

later i “got” that the energy he helped me access was the energy of HOPE.

as i emailed to eric “HOPE is an energy that was in the air when i was born shortly after the end of ww2 (dubbed the war to end all wars). so hopefully what we unleashed was renewed hope to end all wars”. eric agreed that the energy was HOPE which is badly needed right now.

and i cried remembering that during the years that i was immersed in crimson circle material how touched i had been by references of HOPE.
“Hope is the fulfillment of that which was imagined by the order of the Arc. It is to allow creation to move forward, but in a new balance. Hope. Hope is the dream that can be turned into a reality when it is transmuted by a human angel. Hope is a type of passion. Hope is a new day realized. Hope is when energies of Home are materialized in a new place, such as Earth. Interesting energy it is – Hope. It is not one of frivolous dreams and of wishes. Hope is a foundation energy. It is, in a sense, about pre-creation. It is the energy of what will come next. . Special channel . Angel of hope

as I was climbing the stairs to the washroom

of the ferry terminal building

I felt a pressure in my chest.

like my heart was stretching and expanding so much

that it felt almost like pain.

pressure/pain in my whole chest area.

I had the thought

is this what a heart attack feels like.

is this how I am going to die.

collapsing on an outside metal stairway.

Then my chest pain lessened

and i finished my climb to the washrooms.

While i sat on the toilet i shook

and so much fear left my system.

Then when i was walking back to my car

i felt this aspect that said

I didn’t expect to get this old.

I don’t know how to be old.

I never expected this.

To be old here.

And i sensed this was an aspect that anticipated armageddon.

That the world would end

preventing her/me from getting “older”

yesterday i traveled back in time

to feeling my first “punch in the gut”

when i learned there was no santa claus

who i had equated with magic.

and i realised i would be limited

by what my young farm parents

could provide by way of physical comforts.

i think that was when i accepted

the concept of limitation.

since re-visiting that memory

things have been a bit weird. 

just now i was sitting outside

and i thought just like me

nature is exhibiting a bit of everything right now.

a new bud on my rogue petunia

contrasted with dead leaves from the arbutus trees.

slightly overcast sky with light wind

while the temp is almost stifling

from the extreme sun not much earlier.

like everything showing itself at once.

i live on an island

where the main challenge to having a flower garden

is negotiating with the deer

who seem to think flowers are planted to supplement their diet.

A couple of years ago

after 3 years of participating in the deer-challenge

i decided to concede

and turn to other pursuits.

imagine my surprise yesterday

when i walked by an abandoned planter

and saw one rogue petunia ready to blossom

rebirth !!!!

this morning i woke feeling “dry”

different than having a dry mouth or feeling dehydrated.

more like sand or chalk especially my brain and 3rd eye.

like my body fluids were low or had been drained.

took several minutes of sitting outside before i felt back to normal balance.

i had woken in the night and noticed the indicator light on my laptop was on

tho usually i am quite reliable about shutting my laptop off at night

as it sits on a desk in my bedroom

and i tell myself that shutting it off might reduce the effect of wifi in the room.

so last night my computer was on while i slept.

might be a connection especially as i hold the thought that there might be.

later i wondered if i unearthed a memory of having been embalmed.

off to google that process

The methods of embalming, or treating the dead body, that the ancient Egyptians used is called mummification.

Using special processes, the Egyptians removed all moisture from the body, leaving only a dried form that would not easily decay.

aha !

behind closed eyelids i saw a black & blue explosion

a vision that i have viewed many times before tho not recently.

it felt like i was seeing only with my left eye.

i decided to confirm this left eye only theory

and felt my left eyelid being gently + slowly pried open.

when my eye was open to a slit

it was like there were 2 images or versions of the same image.

one behind my eyelid

and one in front of my eyelid external to my body.

i even momentarily questioned if i had created the external version

or if it had escaped thru the slit.

then i opened my left eye

and the external version of the explosion morphed

into little wisps of only the blue.

the black was gone.

i felt the little wisps were alive.

they danced like the northern lights.

one at a time as i recall.

individual little orbs or waves.

i laid there watching them

marveling that i wasn’t afraid.

they stayed maybe a minute. perhaps allowing me to get used to them.

i sensed they were open to communication but i wasn’t quite ready.

chose to just lie there and get used to their presence.

later. maybe even a separate dream/vision

i felt myself being lifted on a platform or magic carpet by several of these blue beings.

i thought “going home” maybe even heard that telepathically from them.

at which point my practical mind kicked in

and i thought of the paperwork mess that my daughter would be left with if i left the planet now.

then i looked around to see if my son was there.

felt like i stopped or lowed liftoff with each practical thought / consideration

and the scene stopped.

as i see it,

embodied enlightenment

is about both ascension and descension.

the physical ascends

and the non-physical descends.

and when the non-physical descends

it pushes out all of our cellular memories

thus cluttering our mind, body & emotions.

the important thing

is that when these cellular memories are being pushed out

that we not get trapped by thinking yikes i’m going backwards.

we’re not going backwards

we’re clearing out our systems.

i have had a variety of experiences re money & flow.

once even going to the grocery store

and thinking omg prices have taken a jump.

but when i breathed and continued to shop

i found that many of my “stock items” were the usual price

and my favorite coffee was actually 1/2 price.

that time i bought only a few items

and the next time i returned to the store

prices seemed to be back to “normal”.

as i was typing i wondered about timeline jumping.

earlier i had wondered about our trust being tested.

Regardless

in my experience it hasn’t been a matter of stepping into the flow

and being able to stay there.

there seems to be a period of wobbling.

i am finding it helpful to take limited or only necessary action during the out of flow times

and being more adventurous during the times of being in the flow

contemplating yet another move,

i got a message to “stay put”.

which i ignored cos it didn’t suit my mind’s plans.

but stay put i did. cos none of my attempts to move worked out.

now several months later

i realise the “stay put” message was about more than my geographical location.

it was also about how i had spent my life chasing.

chasing the next job, the next house, the next relationship.

and i also realised that i had chased and never “stayed put”

because i had never committed to “being here”.

hell there were even times when i resented being here.

and i seemed to have a memory that this was not to be a permanent thing.

that it was a mission of sorts.

and when it was over i would be going home.

so many cellular memories came bubbling to the surface.

even of times when everything in my life had been going well.

and it was like there had been a little voice in my head that said.

don’t get too comfortable, remember we’re not staying.

i was doing some “beditating”

when i touched upon a memory/feeling that was not pleasant to remember/feel.

into my awareness floated that we need to “feel it to heal it”

so i directed my focus to “feeling” the emotion /memory.

as i focused and breathed the feeling/memory intensified

and i congratulated myself that i was finally healing this memory/emotion.

then i felt an adverse energy/acknowledgement arising.

this energy/acknowledgement suggested that by focusing on “healing” the feeling/memory

i was trying to change it

thus in fact rejecting it.

oh my !

so i relaxed my focus on healing the feeling/memory

and allowed the energy of allowing to brush up against it.

that felt good.

it’ll be interesting to see how it all feels next time that feeling /memory surfaces.