While I had begun to realize that my days at my current job were numbered, I hadn’t reached a decision about when I might leave.
Apparently Spirit had!
My son and his Japanese fiancé were awaiting my daughter’s wedding in Canada before heading off to Japan.
Several family members were gathered at my daughter’s house. Discussion had led to the suggestion that following my daughter’s wedding, family members could travel to Japan (courtesy of my children’s father who was an airline employee) and have my son’s wedding there.
While this plan excited everyone involved, I knew that if I were to be away from my desk for the required 3 consecutive weeks, that I would not be able to make myself return to face my work backlog.
As I was driving away from my daughter’s house, I became aware of a vision of a train speeding along beside my car. I sensed that I was being asked if I intended to get on this train.
I also sensed that I was being informed that if I did get on, that neither I nor my life would ever be the same.
I spent a restless night.
The next morning I remembered that the company I was working for, asked employees to give thirty days notice when they were leaving.
I counted the days until my time off for my daughter’s wedding…thirty!
Then I almost burst out laughing as I realized that I already had an appointment that day, with the person to whom I would need to give my notice.
It seemed preordained.
i woke feeling “dry”. different than having a dry mouth or feeling dehydrated.
more like my body fluids were low or had been drained.
and my heart too didn’t feel warm and flowing.
took several minutes of sitting outside before i felt back to normal balance.
now wondering if i unearthed a memory of having been embalmed.
The methods of embalming that the ancient Egyptians used is called mummification.
the Egyptians removed all moisture from the body,
leaving only a dried form that would not easily decay. Aha !
i just thought of the possible implications of this.
if my consciousness remembers being embalmed
and we are now accessing more of our consciousness
or bringing more of it into our physical body
then no wonder we have friggin nightmares !
oct 4, 2018 memory ….
i’m sitting outside enjoying a pre-dawn smoke
when i hear the rustling of dried arbutus leaves off to the side of my patio.
oh probably that big buck that wandered past couple of years ago.
funny i haven’t seen him since.
then the rustling of leaves gets louder and takes on a thrashing tone. hmmm.
the noise is just outside of the illumination provided by my outdoor light
so i reach inside for my flashlight.
and i see it’s 2 young bucks doing some head butting / bashing
which they continue even with my flashlight beaming into their eyes.
i take my eyes off them briefly to retrieve my coffee
and glance up to see them running off.
one young buck chasing the other.
there is no bank on the small island where i have been living
so having encountered a banking issue that i needed to attend to in person
i researched the ferry schedule, banking hours etc
and decided the saturday noon ferry was the one to take.
well sat morning started out overcast.
2x during the morning my intuition said this is not the weather to take a ferry ride
and 2x my ego mind said but the research says it is.
by the time to leave for the ferry it was pissing down rain
and i finally surrendered
thinking even if i have to drive to the ferry 2/3 times next week before i get on
it’s better to enjoy the scenery and not get soaked walking to the bank.
sure enuf monday morning was brilliant sunshine.
i got on the ferry, seemed to have the highway to myself
got the last parking spot in the small parking lot
walked into the bank, only 1 customer
so i was in and out in 5 minutes.
I’m remembering a time when I had found myself in a position
where I needed immediately to find both a place to live
and a way to pay for it .
Within a week I found myself in a house-sitting situation
and with a well paying job for which I was marginally qualified.
At the time I was amazed and grateful for what seemed to be miracles.
But I have sometimes looked back and wondered what may have happened
had I not been so locked into the Belief that having a job
was the only way that my needs could be met.
I did get what I asked for
a place to live and a way to pay for it.
But now I wonder what might have happened
if I had stated my Real Truth
which was that I wanted to continue my unstructured life
and to have my bills taken care of
Glancing out the window of my apartment
I saw that some neighbors were setting up for a lawn sale.
My eyes went to a piece of furniture.
Oh I love the golden colored wood frame and the muslin cloth cushions.
But what is it exactly?
To satisfy my curiosity, I walked outside for a closer look.
It was a Futon sofa in two sections
that could be used as either a loveseat & ottoman combination
or as a bed.
I loved it and it would be perfect in my little apartment.
Then the “buts” set in:
But I don’t have room unless I get rid of my current sofa.
But I would need help moving the sofa out and the futon in.
But my apartment isn’t clean enough to have people in to help me.
And by the time I had put my buts to rest the futon was gone.
However all was not lost
as it did give my friends an opportunity to coin the phrase
“Don’t fut on yourself”