as I was climbing the stairs to the washroom
of the ferry terminal building
I felt a pressure in my chest.
like my heart was stretching and expanding so much
that it felt almost like pain.
pressure/pain in my whole chest area.
I had the thought
is this what a heart attack feels like.
is this how I am going to die.
collapsing on an outside metal stairway.
Then my chest pain lessened
and i finished my climb to the washrooms.
While i sat on the toilet i shook
and so much fear left my system.
Then when i was walking back to my car
i felt this aspect that said
I didn’t expect to get this old.
I don’t know how to be old.
I never expected this.
To be old here.
And i sensed this was an aspect that anticipated armageddon.
That the world would end
preventing her/me from getting “older”