as I was climbing the stairs to the washroom

of the ferry terminal building

I felt a pressure in my chest.

like my heart was stretching and expanding so much

that it felt almost like pain.

pressure/pain in my whole chest area.

I had the thought

is this what a heart attack feels like.

is this how I am going to die.

collapsing on an outside metal stairway.

Then my chest pain lessened

and i finished my climb to the washrooms.

While i sat on the toilet i shook

and so much fear left my system.

Then when i was walking back to my car

i felt this aspect that said

I didn’t expect to get this old.

I don’t know how to be old.

I never expected this.

To be old here.

And i sensed this was an aspect that anticipated armageddon.

That the world would end

preventing her/me from getting “older”