yesterday morning i felt a huge release of my female lineage’s condemnation of various male family members who excessively favored “sex, alcohol and aggression”.

as the day went on i found myself moving into compassion for the male members, several of whom i had known or lived with.

then in my sleep i was shown/asked if i could feel the same level of compassion for myself. and you know what. i COULDN’T.

we explored the idea of a sense of superiority. i could extend that level of compassion to others because others “needed” that level of compassion, but i didn’t NEED it because i was “superior”. i was meant to GIVE compassion not to RECEIVE it. 

we also explored the idea of worthiness. possibly i didn’t feel worthy of this level of compassion.

still a work in process