i was doing some “porch sitting” and was pretty much lost in gazing at the water when into my awareness floated the phrase “you live here now” with equal emphasis on the words “here’ and “now”. this brought me a bit out of water-gazing mode and more into focus.

then i was brought scene after scene which involved the phrase “you live here now”
each scene involved 2 parts which somewhat balanced or contrasted with each other.  for example in one scene i was a small girl maybe 6/7 years old
in part A it felt like i had been removed from my family of slaves, brought to the “main house” and told “you live here now” (i sensed as a servant)
in part B i was in an orphanage and taken to a large elaborate house and told “you live here now” (i sensed as part of the family, that i had been adopted)
so scene after scene with 2 parts which somewhat balanced or contrasted with each other

then the “mood” changed a bit and it felt that it now also involved non-physical aspects. like i was bringing in some aspects that had never been here/to earth and saying to them “you live here now”. this time it felt less like displacement (as had the opening scenes) and more like a reunion or welcoming.

later I went looking for a dream that i had a while back because it factored into the “physical / non-physical” 2nd part of my experience today. In the dream several adults or mature beings were watching over an infant and there was some concern about the infant’s “future”. In the next scene the infant was lying in a little wooden box. my initial reaction was that the infant had died and been placed in a coffin. Then a procession of male figures (dressed like hell’s angels) walked past the box containing the infant and as each man passed the box he rapped the brass knuckles on his right hand against the side of the box and said “not in this lifetime”. one after the other a man rapping on the box and saying “not in this lifetime” “not in this lifetime”. Initially I assumed that the infant was me but who were these males. 

months after having this dream i got the sense that i WAS in fact the infant in the box and i was being “sent off” and my brotherhood who had traveled with me for eons were letting me know that this time they could not come with me. that this time i needed to go alone.

today during the second part of my experience i “felt” this brotherhood for the first time since the dream and it felt as though they had come to join me here. i’m not sure if they were once again telling me that i needed to go on/be alone (couldn’t rejoin them in their realms) or if i was in fact embodying them.
i do see how the 2nd part of my experience also contained that balance/contrast aspect. in the dream i had a year or so ago i had been in a brotherhood/family and then had to go on alone. today i was sitting alone and was joined by/reunited with my brotherhood / family