as I was falling off to sleep I was remembering some scene from my son’s childhood where he was very hurt & angry. and I as his mom was feeling guilt or remorse about either causing his pain or not being able to prevent it. feeling a failure as a mother.

then into my awareness drifted that spiritual teaching about how someone had to go to the bottom, experience the low of the low on behalf of all that is. so that source would know what the experience feels like.

I then felt this warm loving energy. at first coming from outside of me onto my human self.

then the energy changed and it was coming from my left side (what I call my feminine divine side) inside my body and flowing to my right masculine human side.

and I felt such honor and thanks from left- feminine- divine to right- masculine- human.

and then !

I felt my right- masculine- human start thanking my left- feminine- divine for the times she had taken care of us, made sure we the human were ok, had acted as our guardian angel. i got the feeling I had a glimpse of sacred marriage or divine human or something.

and interesting when I woke it was just a dim memory. faint. not like other spiritual experiences that have involved talking to spooks or whatever.

perhaps when it’s just me & me it feels more subdued or something