The manager of the apartment building where I live was teasing me, because I usually seem to vacuum at the same time as she is vacuuming in the hall outside my door. She said to me “You’re not vacuuming?” I looked around and said “No my place is clean.”
Then in my sleep I dreamed that I was in an apartment where there were Dust Bunnies all over the place – I mean there were Dust Bunnies on the walls!
And when I woke this morning there were so many Dust Bunnies in my apt. I couldn’t believe it. None on the walls granted but in several places on the floor. And less than 24 hours after it had been Clean! I guess I’m wondering if the Dust Bunnies followed me home.
My son emails about his new baby, his first child. He’s so excited, can’t believe he’s actually a dad etc. At one point, he says he thinks the baby looks like him. I look at the picture he has emailed of the baby and I think, does she? I totally forget, that I have never been “good” at seeing who babies look like. So I ask, if his wife agrees. He answers that everyone agrees. Do I stop then? No, I write back, well I can see yes to the forehead and the eyes, don’t know about the lower face.
Later, I’m walking along and I think, what was that about? What came to me, was that it was about insecurity on my part. Thoughts of what kind of mother can’t tell whether this baby looks like her son did when he was a baby
After receiving the next batch of pictures I sent an email that said, “Have I mentioned that your daughter grows more beautiful in each picture, and since she looks like her dad, she will continue to do so?” And you know what? The guy stepped right back onto his old Joyful Papa path. It was like my previous comments had been erased from his Reality.
I decided to walk to the neighborhood London Drugs for some items. As I was preparing to leave my apt, I saw some “2 for 1” coupons from McDonalds which is next door to London Drugs. I don’t think I can remember the last time I was in a McDonald’s, yet I felt nudged to slip these coupons into my pocket. I then found myself walking directly to McDonalds and ordering 2 Big Mac dinners to go.
I was waiting for the dinners to be delivered to me, and asking myself, what was I going to do with 2 McDonald dinners, when my bag of food arrived. As I turned around with the bag of food in my hand, one of the small tables emptied, so I went and sat down and began opening the bag of food. As I did so, I became aware of a man with the appearance of a homeless or street person sitting beside me, nursing a coffee.
I heard myself asking him if he had had his dinner. He said no, he hadn’t. So I said, well now I know why I ordered 2 dinners, and I set out a dinner for each of us. Once our dinners were set out, we each read our paper and ate our dinner with no more interaction with each other.
As I was leaving, the man said Thank You and gave me the most grateful smile. I walked away thinking of the perfection, that he was there at that time, that I ordered 2 dinners, that the table beside him was the one that became available etc.
I also thought of the flip side, of him sitting there hungry, smelling the food, and then being presented with a dinner. And I thought of how I want to remember this, at times when I’m sitting somewhere, wondering how I am going to receive something that I would like to have. That maybe at that very moment, there is someone walking towards me with the very piece that I am missing.