for me, forgiviness started out with me blaming an ex-partner for his treatment of me.

that lasted until i saw the ways in which behavior of mine had also contributed to the downfall of our relationship.

next i explored my relationship with my parents.

first my mother whom i had turned my back on as a young adult determined to be nothing like her or her life.

decades later i realised she did the best she could given the circumstances of her life and the times she was living in and i developed compassion for her.

i thought my father had less impact on my live but as i went along with my healing, i recognised the impact that his emotional absence had on my life.

this also was a sign of the times he was living in and exposed to.

I see forgiveness as a combination of acceptance and compassion.

so for me, to see forgiveness as a way of me “dispensing a sacrament”, i’ll leave up to the churches.