A friend of mine was surprised to find her people-pleasing “part” was draining her and did not have her best interests in mind, was in fact sacrificing her. this revelation led me to think about a “part” of mine which is/was not so much into people-pleasing but is/was into placing the well-being of others before the well-being of myself. this part felt i could not be happy or successful until others were happy & successful. i needed to help others become happy & successful before i could turn my energy & resources towards my own happiness & success. further exploration revealed i did this not only out of guilt and as a distraction from facing my own wants & needs but also because it served as a kind of false superiority allowing me to believe that i had something that others didn’t and that others needed. oh how arrogant. i was using “putting others first” as a way to feed my own ego. caring for others first allowed me to feel both responsible and resentful. feeling responsible led to me feeling capable which led to the arrogance. and so much effort required led to me feeling resentful because others were not progressing in the manner or at the speed that i wanted. so i blamed them for not having time or energy to meet my own wants & needs. hell after some time i forgot what my wants WERE. so many themes & emotions tied up in just one behavior /characteristic. wow.