Am I making progress here?
Yes, you are making progress.
We know that you are reviewing past mistakes, but those were lessons. They were painful in many ways, but they were lessons that you chose, or that you needed.
It is true that you have tended to create some precarious situations both financially and emotionally.
It is also true that these experiences are leading you deeper into yourself.
You are letting go of Self Pity.
You are learning to release mental anguish and pretense.
You are learning to release judgement or at least to be conscious of it when you have it.
These are major steps.
These major steps resulted in me beginning to feel uncomfortable in social situations.
Shortly after arriving at some gathering, I would feel like going home.
As it was winter time I told myself that if I left the cabin fire unattended for too long a period of time that the cabin temperature would be unbearable upon my return.
But I knew that it was more than that.
I had dropped many of my defenses and my pretenses and I had not yet put anything in their place.
I felt like a crustacean that had shed its shell.