My soul & I

due to an incident in my childhood I had developed a fear that me choosing what I want has the potential to interfere with having my survival needs met.

I had come to label this fear as fear of being cold, hungry and alone.

now i’m remembering accessing a past-life aspect of an eskimo gramma adrift on an ice floe so as to not be a burden on the diminishing food supply of the tribe or clan. (a perfect acting out of being cold, hungry and alone).

over time I realized that I was not clear whether or not this being on the ice floe was voluntary or whether that gramma had been forced onto the ice floe.

another past-life aspect that I had accessed was a bank robber. well I thought it was a bank robber because the symbol in the vision was a burlap sack like the one that bank robbers used in western movies.

I had been shown the connection between my lack of abundance and my robber aspect but this morning a piece has been added ….

at the place in my body where I was shown the connection between my lack of abundance and my robber aspect I have recently accessed 2 new sensations.

at the front of my body a small burning spot like I was being prodded with a hot poker. and at the back of that body spot a sack of pus which I have labeled the energy of self-loathing.

this morning the pieces look like this …. 

the eskimo gramma and the robber were one and the same.

and were forced onto the ice floe because she had been stealing food from the tribe’s diminishing food supply.

and she has carried this feeling of loathing herself for what she did and of deserving to be cold, hungry and alone.

after writing all of this I threw up my hands in exasperation and shouted. so what good does it do me to know all of this.

and soul said “it makes a good story”