yesterday i was listening to a radio interview about thoughts, feelings & emotions that affect our heart energetically and physically. i was deeply touched by the energy i received and had a surprising insight prompted by one of the answers to a caller.

the insight was that i hold a memory of “survivor’s guilt”.  not from this lifetime as far as i can recall. well not in the past in this lifetime tho i am wondering if as we step more fully into our enlightenment/sovereignty and leave behind people we have known & loved if shades of survivor’s guilt may appear.

re my memory which is still making its way to the surface of my awareness. i’m getting that part of my survivor’s guilt hinges on the fact that i was unable to keep others safe. others that i was responsible for or whose care was entrusted to me.

and i see how this has influenced me to hold people at arms length, not allow them to get too close to me. because i have a memory of not being able to prevent them from being harmed.