oh-we-should-have-told-you

today I took a copy of my book to the local bookstore

and asked if they would be willing to take a look at it and let me know if they would be prepared to stock the 4/5 copies I have at home.

they agreed

so now I wait 🙂

this morning when i opened my facebook link

the first 3 posts i saw were about “activations”

and i had a negative response to these posts.

sitting with it for a time

i realise that i no longer believe in activations

or not activations from others, not “programmed” activations.

we are coded to evolve

and we can do so naturally

we will bring to ourselves all of the triggers necessary for these activations

and they will be custom designed for our particular issues, codes, genetic make-up.

and sometimes they will be activations from others 😉

i have spent some time feeling for the native americans taking a stand to prevent a pipeline in the Missouri river. many arrived with their proud regalia, such elaborate headdress.
After days of assembling and getting pumped they found that the “opposition” hired a security firm with attack dogs. I watched a few horrid seconds of video which really affected me.
this morning I thought how after decades of mistreatment the natives have also tended to fall into victim mentality. so this is their opportunity to merge their ancient ancestral warrior heritage with any current victim stance.
and I thought that’s true for all of us. it’s for each and every one of us about “taking a stand” each in our own way

I just woke from a nap where i was remembering (or reliving) a recent conversation with my son.

when i got to the part where my son said “why am i telling you this?”

it was as tho i tapped into (or felt) the consciousness of the aspect who was asking the question.

it was as tho that consciousness & myself sat looking at each other.

then i had the feeling to invite this consciousness to flow thru my body.

i debated momentarily, quite aware of what i was considering. then i proceeded.

i breathed in this consciousnes and felt it flow thru my body. Took a minute or 2. then it left.

Now awake i’m remembering a couple of things. How tobias of crimson circle once talked about how we could walk thru a mall and the air would be changed simply by it passing thru our consciousness.

And i have read that previously we used to heal others by taking the disease into our own body.

I’m wondering if we could do aspectology in the same way. Aspectology for others.

rounding the corner from my patio I found myself face-to-face with a mother deer with her bambi close behind her
they had come right up onto the interlocking brick pathway and were 4 ft from the open doorway to my unit .. and heading towards my petunias
so mamma & I looked deep into each others eyes and I said . those petunias are mine. I love to sit with them
and I swear mamma glanced at bambi then glanced back at me and “said” doesn’t my hungry baby come first
and I thought it *is* getting a bit dry  .and . I love my petunias  .and . surely there must be greenery in the woods

so . at the moment . I still “have” my petunias
but I have never before been “confronted” by an animal mamma
suggesting that I should allow her baby to eat my flowers

kinda cute . and . a little painful at the same time
as I ask myself was I being selfish
perhaps an indication of interesting times to come

one of the “non-physical guys i chat with” dropped by the other morning

he began by reminding me of how previously he had spoken about

how we each have male energy & female energy.

and that each of these energies has a light component & a dark component

thus we have light male energy & dark male energy

and light female energy & dark female energy.

this morning he went further

adding that the same is true with our divine part.

i had easily accepted the idea of light human energy & dark human energy.

the idea of light divine energy & dark divine energy is taking me longer to accept

especially the bit about “dark” divine energy

yesterday i was listening to a radio interview about thoughts, feelings & emotions that affect our heart energetically and physically. i was deeply touched by the energy i received and had a surprising insight prompted by one of the answers to a caller.

the insight was that i hold a memory of “survivor’s guilt”.  not from this lifetime as far as i can recall. well not in the past in this lifetime tho i am wondering if as we step more fully into our enlightenment/sovereignty and leave behind people we have known & loved if shades of survivor’s guilt may appear.

re my memory which is still making its way to the surface of my awareness. i’m getting that part of my survivor’s guilt hinges on the fact that i was unable to keep others safe. others that i was responsible for or whose care was entrusted to me.

and i see how this has influenced me to hold people at arms length, not allow them to get too close to me. because i have a memory of not being able to prevent them from being harmed.

additional postings of my experiences & musings can be found on my facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/Oh-We-Should-Have-Told-You-111028689006524/

I was creating a space for my nasturtiums to cascade down the slope off my patio.
so I sat on the landscape ties and leaned forward to place my left hand on the ground. the ground was warm enough that I pulled my hand away thinking that’s weird for so early in the day that the ground would be that warm.
I placed my hand on the ground again and this time I could feel “feelings” like fear and I thought there’s an animal in the grass that I am feeling.
then it felt as tho there was an animal trapped under my hand. I kept picking up my hand and looking. no animal trapped there. didn’t feel like just an insect. felt like a salamander or something. but nope nothing there.
so I finished my gardening and came inside.
in my sleep I got the aha that I had been feeling gaia, mother earth, whatever 🙂