i took part in a guided visualisation where we were asked to look at what was holding ourself back from sharing our wisdom because of a fear of misleading others.

i was shown a scene in which a young maiden was standing beside her father who appeared to be the leader of a small village or tribe. the maiden’s father had just been given an ultimatum by a horse mounted male authority, which had to do with the male thinking the maiden had shown affection to him and had arrived to claim the maiden for himself otherwise he would wreak havoc on the village/tribe.

i sensed the maiden felt she had just been friendly, same as she was friendly to members of her village but the authoritive male, who was unaccustomed to general friendliness, had believed that the maiden’s friendliness was directed at him personally.

at the same time i sensed there was a young male in the village/tribe that had been courting the maiden, who was receptive to this courting. yet here was this authoritarian male come to claim the maiden for himself or he would wreak havoc on the village/tribe. and the maiden’s father said the decision of what to do was left up to the maiden. she could voluntarily agree to go off with this authoritarian male or have havoc wreaked upon her village/tribe. i wasn’t shown what decision the maiden made.

i was asked a question “if you were that maiden Now, what decision would you make?”

oh good question. i’ll need to ponder that. choose for myself at the risk of having my village destroyed.

it took me 2 days before i could get myself to consider that question and another 2 days before i got additional clarity and a breakthru.

the first day i realised that i had misrepresented the male by using the adjective “authoritarian”, the word “entitled” would have been more accurate. the male astride the horse was not gruff or brutal, in fact he was rather elegant. i sense he was an aristocrat who owned the land on which the maiden’s village/tribe existed like a feudal system.

and he didn’t issue his ultimatium instantly. in his entitlement style, the aristocrat had come to notify the maiden’s father of his decision to take the maiden as his mate. this taking was not to be immediate, the male had declared that he would give the maiden several days to say her goodbyes and prepare to leave. the father had invited the maiden to be part of the discussion saying the decision would be hers. i/the maiden still couldn’t decide what to do.

my 2nd meditation 2 days after the first one, allowed me/the maiden to see how previously i/the maiden thought there were only 2 optons – choose AGAINST my heart and go with the male “for the good of my village/tribe” or choose WITH my heart and together with my village face the wrath of the rejected male.

but the 2nd meditation allowed for all kinds of possible solutions in the maiden going off with the male including one where the male provided accommodation in his house for the maiden and courted her. he WAS after all a gentleman tho had feared “losing face” with his comrades if he didn’t “get his woman”.

during the courtship the male came to understand the maiden and the ways of her people as did the maiden come to understand the male and the ways of his people. Finally they met in the middle and enjoyed life together and even returned to the maiden’s village to lay out a feast.

i made the connection that i was holding myself back from sharing my love due to fear of misleading others.