My Awakening (and my book) Continues #13

The province where I live has House Lotteries offering lovely houses as prizes. I had come up with the idea that I would Put Out the Intention, that I would win one of these houses and develop a Retreat where others could join me in my Personal and Spiritual Growth. I had a really good feeling when I attended the viewing of a House that I thought would be suitable for a Retreat, so I bought a ticket. But I didn’t win.

I had felt so strongly that I was going to win that house.

Yes, for a time it appeared that you would.

Then why didn’t I?

There were several reasons. You were not really ready, a lesson for you in romantic relationships became available, and the floor plan was not right remember?

So have I been too demanding as to how the house should be?

Why do you tend to think that there was something wrong on your part when your requests are not answered in the way that you hoped? Do you think that it is possible that the timing was just not right? Or that you had other lessons to learn first?


While waiting for another suitable house to become available, I had done a drawing that modified the floor plan of the first house. The floor plan of the second house was exactly as I had drawn, but the house was on a busy street. I came home somewhat frustrated after viewing this house.

So are you accepting the idea of continuing at your job as opposed to being at the Lottery House?

I hadn’t expected an entrance on a busy street.

But you asked for it to be near a bus stop.

I was thinking maybe a block away.


Stepping onto the deck was certainly wonderful.

That is in response to your desire to have a deck where people can sit and enjoy the ocean.

The floor plan is as I had drawn it.

So do you want the house?

Yes I would love it.

Yet you still have trouble believing it could be possible, do you not?

Yes I do. Why is that?

It is because you have a Belief that wonderful things do not happen for someone like you.

What does someone like me mean?

Someone who has never had these wonderful things.

Someone who has not worked hard enough.

Someone who is not deserving of them.

These are your beliefs. They are not ours.


I received a brochure on another Lottery House that looked like it might be suitable for my Retreat House idea. The Lottery Foundation had purchased a waterfront estate, which had then been divided into 4 lots. I had visited the first house when it was built and had then wandered across the remaining land finding myself drawn to a spot at the water’s edge.

As I stood on that spot with the wind in my face, I sensed that I had stood there before. It seemed to be some kind of a Power Spot for me as I felt both grounded and transported to another dimension at the same time. This Power Spot was on what I considered to be the most beautiful of the vacant lots. I had the feeling that my house would be built on that lot.  Well the house in the brochure was on the beautiful lot – but my Power Spot was actually on the neighboring lot whose view of the ocean was much less expansive.

Perhaps because the current house was on the lot with the view that I loved, I spent some time evaluating. One house had the view that I loved but did not contain my Power Spot. Also the house was not totally to my liking – it was stucco whereas I prefer wood, and it had black trim, which is possibly my least favorite color.

Is this about me needing to make a choice?

This is about issues and priorities. That was a valuable exercise that you did about comparing how you would feel if you were already sitting in your house on the ocean watching the rain – that you would be having the same thoughts and feelings as you are having now, just in a more glorious setting.

So it isn’t about the House, it’s about me?


About sharon-clark-rowlands

Sharon Clark Rowlands is the author of “Oh, We Should Have Told You” which is the outgrowth of a Journal kept during several years spent in the pursuit of personal growth and spirituality. The book contains both personal experiences and “messages from someone outside of myself” and will stimulate you to reflect upon and to gain insights into your own experiences and provide you with inspiration and comfort as you navigate your own Spiritual Journey. view Sharon's author page at and her facebook page for her book
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